A Life lived. Living life.

Hi.  Yes, it's been a while since I've written.  Sorry about that.  My sister passed away.  She had a turn in January ... needed extra treatment and though that was super successful, the cancer attacked a different part of her body that wasn't as strong.  "We got out-flanked", as my brother-in-law puts it.  A life beautifully lived.  I miss her. :-/ 

As to the point above, I'm of course leaving a boatload out.  And that's the way it has to because that's what I can handle right now.  And with that said...

Now here's the thing, you have to go on.  An experience like that changes you in ways I never imagined.  And my creative pursuits have been on hold for some months, obviously, and now it's my turn to keep living life.  A not so easy challenge at first, but as the quiet sets in, the tears fell and fall, the stillness without her, the no I can't call you about this or hey honey what should i do about that, and regardless of anything (and everything for that matter), I'm still in this realm called earth, still breathing, the grass is still growing, my tummy is still growling cause it's lunch time, the sun is still shining and the world is circling around the sun yet another day.  And until that changes, which it's not as of yet, it points to the fact that it's my job to live life, whatever that looks like.  My hopes are to be as geniune as I can with who I am as I pick up my different pursuits--stretch beyond where I've been, explore new veins of interest and expand beloved ones.  It's definitely a 'you better live while you can cause this is your life and the only one that's going to make it anything is you' kind of feeling about it.  I feel charged by her.  What I mean is, not that she is charging me to do something, but this whole experience, her life beautifully lived has affected me and I want that to be VERY APPARENT in how I live life now.  And I'm becoming ok with that.  

Additionally during this time period, we had a happier time... a family member got married, so I got upgraded from my tiny but loved little sewing room to a sizable sewing studio with a wonderful storage closet and a huge design wall.  That was definitely something I didn't see coming..but for sure am not going to turn it down once offered!!  SO here we go.  Back to Living Life.